Welcome to another episode of Creative Questers, where we explore all things creative and provide valuable insights for aspiring writers. In this episode, hosts Stefka and Christina talk about how to deal with rejection. They discuss acceptance rates, the importance of enjoying the writing process, and the value of finding support within writing communities. Tune in as they explore the difference between useful and useless criticism and offer tips on how to grow and improve as a writer despite rejection. In a world where setbacks are inevitable, this podcast explores how to turn moments of disappointment into opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Transcript

Christina Howell:

Hello, and welcome creative questions. I’m Christina.

Stefka Spiegel:

And I’m Stefka. And today we’ll be talking about dealing with rejection.

Christina Howell:

Oh god. Not rejection as far as getting broken up with or, You know, getting fired. We’re not talking about Oh,

Stefka Spiegel:

yeah. No. No. No. No. No. We’re we’re writing creativity task. So, naturally, that will stick with the topic of writing.

Stefka Spiegel:

We haven’t suddenly ventured out over into the dating sphere. Like, don’t worry. We’re still right here. Oh god. But, you know, Christina, we’ve been talking about my goal for this year, trying to submit to a lot of different journals and things, and I used to looked up. I have, like, a very really, nice little writing, competition tracker, in a little sheet On my desktop, and I’m trying to count how many stories are on there. That’s like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 12 12 stories that I’ve submitted this year to places so far, which if you’ve heard the other episode, I’m fairly certain I like, the last time I said this, I already had a number that was close to 10.

Stefka Spiegel:

So, yes, I haven’t submitted a lot during the summer. I’ve been writing mostly fan fiction, but I haven’t really submitted anything since well, I’ve submitted something this month, but only one thing. And I’m planning actually to submit 3 more. Fingers crossed. We’ll see how that all goes. But the point I was trying to make was I have heard back from most of them. And very naturally, most like all of them so far that I’ve heard back from were declined because that is just my luck. I feel like, Christina, you told me this.

Stefka Spiegel:

What was the rate? The the general acceptance rate is, like, around less than 5%, definitely. Right?

Christina Howell:

I mean, it depends from literary magazine to literary magazine. But that’s what I find one of my biggest helpers for dealing with rejection is looking at the acceptance rates on Duotrope. You have to pay $5 a month to get the service, and we don’t get any kickbacks from them. Don’t worry. It’s just something I find really helpful because if I look at the places where I would really like to get published, most of the places where I want to be, The acceptance rate is 1%.

Stefka Spiegel:

Oh, ouch. So that means, purely statistically, I’d have to submit a 100 stories to get 1, accepted, and that’s statistics only. So As it goes, usually with statistics, you probably have to submit more.

Christina Howell:

Yeah. Yeah. And I’m okay with being I don’t think that I’m the top 1% of the writing world. I’m OK with that.

Stefka Spiegel:

See, I’m not. Clearly, I am perfect and wonderful, and they just don’t appreciate me enough. No. Obviously, kidding. But yeah. No. That’s that’s just the thing. And Oftentimes, I find personally that crafting the story is fun to me.

Stefka Spiegel:

So it’s like just sitting down and also just the feeling of accomplishment, Having finished something. Yes. That is enough.

Christina Howell:

That is a tremendous point. If you are feeling really bad about rejection you received, try to remind yourself why you’re doing this. Are you doing it simply with 100% of your focus to make money getting published? Well, good luck with that. Hopefully, you’re doing it because you actually like it. You might not like the writing process itself. Some people love it. Some people I read a quote today, and I can’t remember who it was.

Christina Howell:

But somebody said, I hate writing, but I love having written.

Stefka Spiegel:

See see, I, personally, I love writing because I don’t actually enjoy reading back my own stuff, especially if it’s older. Like, it’s if I’m still in the the face where I’m crafting it, I’m fine. That’s okay. But, like, Half a year down the line, like, I’ve been looking at some of the story that I I wrote at the beginning of the year and kinda wanted to resubmit. Oh, painful. Why was it so painful? I didn’t even like, some of the things I wrote, I was like, oh, no, dear. Why would you do that? But that actually It also speaks to my taste shifting a lot or, hopefully, some growth as a writer, which then would be a good thing. But yeah.

Christina Howell:

Or it could just be cyclical because like right now, I am not really pleased with my writing.

Stefka Spiegel:

Okay.

Christina Howell:

But I could look at the same piece tomorrow and be like, oh, this It’s pretty good. You know? So do realize that tastes Vary from person to person and from day to day. And Yes. If you get rejected, it doesn’t mean that your piece is crap. It means that it’s hasn’t found its right home yet at the right time.

Stefka Spiegel:

Yes. I’m reminded of there is an Instagram reel that I keep stumbling across, and the sound of it is like, what do we do when we get rejected? We realized that we’re complete crap. No. And it’s like yeah. Yeah. That’s like

Christina Howell:

Don’t take it personal.

Stefka Spiegel:

Do not do not yeah. Don’t don’t listen to that initial first possible voice that just yells everything’s shit and I’m shit. No. You’re not. There’s just also, there’s remember, there’s, like, a person sitting there who decided to include your story or not. And sometimes they might just have a bad day. Might just be an off day, or maybe they’ve read a 1000000 stories about cats this week, and they just Didn’t wanna read another one, or maybe

Christina Howell:

That’s a really good point too is that Yeah. Maybe that everybody’s been submitting stories about the same thing, and they’re like Yeah. Actually, I really love this story, but I already have 25 other ones

Stefka Spiegel:

with a thing. Cats here. I can’t possibly take any of the more.

Christina Howell:

Or maybe the person maybe the person who’s reading doesn’t like cats. I mean, they’re wrong.

Stefka Spiegel:

How can you not like cats?

Christina Howell:

I know. Totally agree. But

Stefka Spiegel:

I don’t want my story in a journal where someone who doesn’t

Christina Howell:

want to

Stefka Spiegel:

chat is an an editor. I do not. That is kind of the mindset you have to find yourself in and to realize that it’s not about you. It’s not even about your story. It might just be the face of the moon or the time frame. It might be. Honestly, it might be. And so that, I feel like, is one of the most important things with And just stick with it for the reason you started to do it.

Stefka Spiegel:

Like

Christina Howell:

Yes.

Stefka Spiegel:

Stay there and remember that. And a lot of us Write for the love of it just because we love writing and or we we enjoy the process or we enjoy the writing communities we find ourselves in. And, honestly, Totally fair. 100%. And that to me is also the most important part. Obviously, I would love if eventually one of my stories was accepted. Like, Don’t get me wrong. Like, I’m not gonna sit here and be like, I never wanna be, at publishing.

Stefka Spiegel:

Of course I want to, doesn’t every writer? But Well, I’m here and just crafting stories and getting better at what I do because I keep doing it, because I keep putting in the work, because I keep Working towards my 10000 hours that I need for was that perfection? Or, well, we’ve talked about perfection a lot. No. Not perfect. But, you know, while I do this, I just enjoy having people around me, like you, Christina, who do the same thing in a way and Just enjoy the company and enjoy being here.

Christina Howell:

And that’s another another good tip for how to deal with rejection is, Hopefully, you have friends who are also writers. You have if you’re in a community, like Creative Qusters, like Shut up and write. Like, remember mentors. There are tons of writing communities out there. And I guarantee you I guarantee you that anyone in that community Who has ever tried to submit something has also experienced rejection. And knowing that there are people who stand you that are going through the same things that you are is also very comforting.

Stefka Spiegel:

100% agreed.

Christina Howell:

Use it as an opportunity to grow And recognize how you can take, there yeah. There’s 1 one little thing I’d like to add. Realizing the difference between useful and useless criticism?

Stefka Spiegel:

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes. Oh, I have a side quest about this. Let’s not get a 2 day event for it.

Christina Howell:

Yes. Right. I would like to just give this isn’t exactly Isn’t exactly related to rejection, but when you get a critique back, some places when you get a rejection, sometimes they will give you some sort of A critique. And oftentimes, when you first get the rejection, your first instinct is like, Damn it. And you’re mad and you’re sad. You’re like, fuck you. Sit with it. Let yourself feel that way, But then come back to it.

Christina Howell:

Mhmm. And and sometimes sometimes the advice Just isn’t like the person, the place where you were trying to submit that piece. Wasn’t a good match. Sometimes that’s pure and simple it, and you can just look at their Their comments would be like, no, this doesn’t resonate with me. And sometimes the 1st read, you’re still gonna you’re going to have that reject reaction, But then coming back to it after you’re giving yourself a break, I’ve had this case where someone had written something about my work and I thought she just doesn’t understand me. You know, obviously she doesn’t understand. She doesn’t get what I was trying to do, and I just completely discounted the criticism I got.

Stefka Spiegel:

Mhmm.

Christina Howell:

I looked at it a week later, and I looked back at my piece, and I was like, damn it.

Stefka Spiegel:

She’s right.

Christina Howell:

Oh god. She’s right. Aw.

Stefka Spiegel:

But that’s also kudos to you for getting to that point because that is so hard sometimes because you’re like, Your gut reaction is to be like, oh, that stupid person. Obviously, probably using worse Words that I just have. But, and that gut reaction is completely natural. So, yeah, kudos to you for for getting through that, looking at it again and realizing she might have a point even though I hate it.

Christina Howell:

Right. And then you could take that And make your next story. Make that story better. Mhmm. Send it to a different place. Yes. And maybe we’ll find a better, like, I’ve been rejected from there’s a piece that Actually just got published today. Yay.

Christina Howell:

That’s so exciting. But I had submitted this piece to 4 other locations, 4 other magazines. And while each of those other magazines were were good magazines, the place where it was ultimately ultimately accepted, I feel like was not only a better fit, but it was also kind of a a higher tier, A literary magazine, then the other places where I had submitted it. And I hadn’t done a lot of changes to it. I’d done some some tweaks based on some information that Some critiques that people have given me, but primarily, it was the same story that I submitted to all these places. And so it’s just a matter of timing, and Sometimes it can find a better home if it was rejected from the first. Who knows?

Stefka Spiegel:

Absolutely. And, see, I’m still at the stage where I’m mostly crafting new stories for new submission calls because I do not because this is part of the the reason I set this goal for myself to submit more this year, to create this body of works that I had or would have to share and to be able to submit stuff and also to be able to if if someone was like, so what do you actually write? So maybe you have a story or two that I I would decide, okay. So this is published or this I’m not gonna publish anymore, so this is the kind of stuff I write. And then maybe even, like, getting critiques and getting feedback that stuff to be able to grow and develop and all of that. So fair enough.

Christina Howell:

And it gets easier.

Stefka Spiegel:

It does get easier.

Christina Howell:

Few rejections are the worst. But if you keep getting out there, you get a thicker skin, And you’re able to have a better idea of your voice, what resonates with you, what doesn’t resonate with you if you do get some kind of critique back. And just get back out there. Keep submitting.

Stefka Spiegel:

Yeah.

Christina Howell:

And True. Don’t take it personal.

Stefka Spiegel:

And, see, I I even got 2 rejections that included, aligned to the effect of, please keep resubmitting. We like your story. Please keep resubmitting. Okay? And that certainly is like, I know a lot of these are probably copy and paste and just altered slightly. But that line, I feel like, is not added To like, already having gotten back a few, well, rejections. I know that that line isn’t included in every one of them. So

Christina Howell:

Right?

Stefka Spiegel:

Hold on to these and be like, okay. Keep resubmitting. That means I wasn’t completely off base. That means I was, like, like, way, way, way off. That means I was close enough that they were like, oh, maybe in the future, this could work. And I’m like, cool. I’ll try again. Thank you.

Christina Howell:

Yes. Well,

Stefka Spiegel:

that’s a good thing. Alright. I feel like we’ve, given out thoughts on the topic. So, As usual, there will be show notes for this episode, and you can find all the information you need to reach us, somewhere down there. Our email, our Instagram, that isn’t very active. But in case you wanna follow us anyway, it’s right there.

Christina Howell:

We’re working on that.

Stefka Spiegel:

And we’re working on it.

Christina Howell:

At least.

Stefka Spiegel:

We’re thinking about it. Trying to. There’s so many good cool things to do. It’s But yes. Chinese. Chinese. Oh, there’s Chinese. Oh god.

Stefka Spiegel:

Oh, the side quests everywhere. It’s like we’re we’re I I I love these old metaphors because it’s like we’re knights or ladies Of, the holy grail and searching On our crisis.

Christina Howell:

Oh, no.

Stefka Spiegel:

Are we gonna

Christina Howell:

talk about king Arthur again? Sorry.

Stefka Spiegel:

You you you open up the possibility, and

Christina Howell:

I needed you.

Stefka Spiegel:

Oh god. I I need to write something about this Just to get it out of my system because I it’s horrible. Okay. But, yes, as always, thank you guys for listening.

Christina Howell:

Thank you. It was wonderful talking to you, Shefka. I hope that Thank you. You guys can get something useful out of this. And Until we meet again, happy questing.

Stefka Spiegel:

Happy questing.